I met with someone today and he asked how I would feel about hearing comments that are not nice about me or my work.
It’s important, isn’t it? The ability to deal with critics, feedback and often times, comments that give orgasm to the speaker but not the listener.
Here’s what I think.
1. Some people can get very easily offended by others’ harmless comments, which sometimes freaks me out. People see things the way they see it, not the way you see it. If they think your stuff is ugly, that’s their personal take on it. If you think your stuff is gorgeous no matter what, it’s your business. Perhaps, they don’t even think it’s ugly, but they just have a very poor vocabulary or choice of word.
What to do in this case: ask Why? Find out why they say the things they say and try to view things from their stand. Take a bad comment as a negative review and turn it to an opportunity to learn how you can improve or innovate things.
2. Haters’ gonna hate. Let’s agree that one can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Some people love you, some others will hate you. That’s a fact of life and if you ask me, what’s a big deal about it?
What to do in this case: stay objective-focused. Concentrate on what you have to do or what you want to do.
3. We were not born to lick everyone’s ass. Accept the reality that you will have to discount certain people in life to move on.
What to do in this case: discounting people is liberating. Tell them ‘I’ve done spring-cleaning and got rid of stuff. You are one of that.‘ On the hindsight, when you decide to cut out anyone in your life, don’t decide it over anger or drinks.
When i’m typing this, my mind pictures myself walking along Porters Avenue. It’s freezing cold and I’m trying to hide my face behind the high collar of my hoodie, my hands in the jacket’s pockets. On one side of the street, cars accelerate to the highway. On the other side of the street, there are dandelions with half of the seeds already with the wind, flowers that I can’t name and grass that I can step on. No matter how lovely the dandelions are or how tempting I would love to let my feet run on the grass, I can’t possibly linger there. I have to reach where I am supposed to be so I continue walking, facing the ruthless blow of the wind.
And life goes on.