I was sitting by the stairs beside a random office on a long street.
It was drizzling out there. My umbrella was not that good enough to handle big winds. My legs are tired from the endless walking from the last few days.
I love big winds, but not when it combines with rain to freeze all my nerves like this.
I was feeling really sad. Not because I was alone today. Not because of the troubles suddenly dropped on me. Not because of the rain either, perhaps. I’m sad when I saw how forgiving my beloved could be with me. I know how he would typically behave in a certain circumstance. But this time, he was willing to let it go. He knew I needed to stay relaxed today, therefore placing aside all the things that he was certain would bug me.
I couldn’t explain that sadness. It was probably built up together with the tensity, the context and the weather.
An old man passed by. He looked at me, concerned. I looked up to him waving hi to me with a big smile. That did make me feel a little better.
The people in this country so far have been so friendly and welcoming.
I thought of the day before when I was at the crossroads, with a map in hand and looking lost. A man came up, checking on me ‘Are you alright?’.
Or, the other day I received several emails and messages from people I haven’t ever known of. They said ‘Welcome here’. I said ‘Thank you’. They said ‘I know how it was like to be in a new country’.
I think I could become so numb with life, bearing 100%T in my INTP. Friends often joke I have no emotions. But I’d had a lot of that today.
At times, it’s good to feel fragile maybe (even with no reasons). I have looked at people today, more than what has happened. Today was not a day of science, as opposed to how I usually liked to think my days were.