Some random people whom I don’t really know has just tagged me to this on Facebook. Thanks, it indeed comes at the right time as a moral support.
Truth is, I have been damn exhausted with struggling with what I’m struggling with plus persuading myself things will go the positive way. The thought of giving up, or in another more tolerably put word – letting go, seems to be attracting. Why do i care so much when others don’t care? I can’t perform reality check for people all the time if they have already decided to live in denial. Until you can show me some magic which makes things happen overnight, I don’t believe in anything or anyone. I only believe in what i see and my gut feelings at the moment.
Right at the moment i thought i would just jump off the cliff to let go, I think of what has made me hang in here. The people who put their trust in me and support me when i cried out for help. The people who have put their hopes in me and tell me I can do it. The experience (or chaos?!) that every time i go through i will say to myself this shit can only make me better. The opportunity which lies in about 0.000000000001 percent of hope that tells me something better might come after i pass this. In short, I just want to get whatever happening freaking done – at the perfectest state possible, disappoint no one and at least earn something-something out of the experience.
Do I sound damn miserable now?
While I can’t get what I physically need out there, I can use some of these instant happiness boosters right now.
– An ice-cream with some lame jokes
– A text message which can crack a laugh out of me
– Wind. Really strong wind
– Clam chowder
– Hot chocolate
– A glass of mojito with some live music
And You (with a pair of your shoulder and arm too).
All-right, enough for some ‘stay positive’-ness. Back to reality now urgh!
Sorry i digress but why everybody is watching Love Actually every single freaking Christmas? Like again and again, for 13984029483042 years already? Every Christmas, the most popular repeated status updated in my Facebook feed is Love Actually in progress. Duh?!? I would rather recommend Everybody’s Fine. Go watch and appreciate your parents 🙂